Fluid Mechanics
by Catastrophia
Summary: Virgin super kinky perv engineer, Dr. Edward Cullen has met his ultimate sexual fantasy in the flesh in pinup girl dressing fellow engineer, Dr. Bella Swan. Innuendos fly, but is Edward's geek factor too thick for Bella to get her point across? Rated M


**Wanna Be A Hardcore Nerdward Contest**

Title: Fluid Mechanics  
>Author: Catastrophia and Scarlettplay<br>Summary: Virgin super kinky perv engineer, Dr. Edward Cullen has met his ultimate sexual fantasy in the flesh in pinup girl dressing fellow engineer, Dr. Bella Swan. Innuendos fly, but is Edward's geek factor too thick for Bella to get her point across? Rated M for kinkiness, citrus, and periods of PMSL fall out of your chair hilarity. All fluff. 100% wussperv friendly.

Word Count: 13,297  
>Disclaimer: If Stephenie Meyer knew how delicious and pervy Geekward could be, she probably would have written this story. But she didn't . . . her loss is our gain. She gets the millions for writing the Twilight series and we get our jollies from making him fumble, sweat and try to win the girl. No infringement intended, she owns all; we bow down to her and then make you purr. Feel it, babies, just feel it.<p>

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**FLUID MECHANICS**

_**EPOV**_

"Fluid mechanics . . . Holy wow! Internal combustion," I muttered to myself as I watched her walking towards me, towards my office. She was making a beeline straight for my desk, where I worked, ate, breathed and now licked.

_Who the _hell_ is that? Is that Doctor Swan? Couldn't be . . . _

"Good Lord, she's . . . coming this way," I whispered wide-eyed to any deity around that might have been able to improve my odds of speaking coherently in her proximity. I took a swift, subtle whiff of my pit to make sure I wouldn't at least repel her with some unsavory body odor; my verbal skills would be sure to take care of that job. My verbal diarrhea would be in full force today most likely. Was there an oral version of Breezers to catch the garbage I'd be spewing out? If not, I'd have to invent them, because I'd need an abundant supply . . . if this was indeed her and I'd be . . .

"Shit!" Yeah, I was in deep doo doo. Sludge that could not be turned into a useful fertilizer and grow some organic vegetables. My mouth was already leaking refuse and dribble. Perfect! She hadn't heard it yet, but she undoubtedly would.

I felt confused! I was shaking with raw nervous energy. I had e-mailed her several times about our project over the last few weeks that we'd start working on together today. For the longest time I assumed it was a man I had been conversing with so I was not very careful about what I had said to her. A few times I had even joked with her in a sexual context over different aspects of our job.

_Jeez, smooth going Edward._

But this couldn't be her. _No fucking way!_

I glanced at my watch for a moment. _Ten thirty._ I was supposed to meet Doctor Swan in my office at ten thirty and there it was . . . time of truth and I was . . . exposed—or felt like I was, at any rate.

I wanted to lick, lick, lick the fuck out of her and I didn't even know her from Eve . . . _yet._

She looked like she had a lollipop ass that was all mounds of swirly delicious sucking pleasure. _Jesus fuck!_

Brunette babe noticed my blatant staring but I . . . couldn't look away. She was mesmerizing and I'd never seen anything like her at all, except . . . in my girly magazines and calendars. Her eyes popped and her ass sizzled. Not to mention that she had a lilting walk that screamed out hardcore bondage Bettie Page sex.

The closer she got to me, the more semi-combustible I became. My crankshaft needed some lubrication something fierce.

"Lauren Bacall, Ingrid Bergman, Ava Gardner, Rita Hayworth . . ." I mumbled under my breath. Usually listing off famous pinup girls helped to soothe me when I was nervous or uptight, but this most definitely was not working. I was more erect than I'd ever been . . . _everywhere!_

_She was too smoking hot!_

"Damn, those hips," I whimpered softly. "Damn, those tits. Damn, those lips!" I was losing it.

Okay, change of tactic. _Engineering._

"Airfoil. Control surfaces . . ." I sucked in a heated breath, she was doing a number on me by simply looking at me. I closed my eyes, hoping it would improve my mental stability and ground my nervous system. "Lift drag. Structural loads, propulsion. Fuck, this is worse!" Engineering terms weren't doing the trick either. "Sounds like I'm mounting her and giving it to her," I said to myself in a sexual haze, slightly waving my head to try to clear it of all of the naughty images I was having of spreading her over my desk and showing her my version of 'propulsion'.

"Jesuuuuus . . . I need help!" I muttered like a fool, opening my eyes back up. "She's just so . . ." _Shut up mouth before she's close enough to hear me!_

I wasn't sure if I was praying to God that she was indeed Doctor Swan or if I was cursing my luck that she would be and I'd die of inadequate oxygenation to my brain from working around someone as wank worthy as she was. The caveman portion of my brain was screaming: 'YES, YES, FUCKING THOUSAND TIMES YES! THAT _IS_ DOCTOR SWAN AND YOU WANT HER! SHE'S MADE FOR YOU!'

What in God's green earth was _she_ doing working in an industry like this when she looked like _that?_ It was mind blowing, along with other blowing actions. Aerospace engineers were not 'hot'. They were the thinkers, the inventors; they were not the people that attracted the opposite sex based on their looks. I was living proof of that. Consistently dateless and girlfriendless.

She glided up to my desk and a waft of her edible, floral scent assaulted me. It was nice . . . I liked it. I was giving myself a mental high five for using my sense of smell in a successful way when she broke me out of my trance.

"Hi, I'm Bella." She cleared her throat for a moment. "Er . . . Doctor Swan. You must be Edward," she politely said, with a saucy grin as she planted herself right in front of me and my deviant sexually frazzled brain. She was clearly amused by the dumbfounded look I was sporting.

_Well, damn!_

She waited expectantly, eyes wide but very soft and lovely.

_Shit! Manners!_

_Think, Edward! Think! You knew this was happening today . . . but she used your first name._

Normally I'd be irritated that somebody would be so familiar with me and disrespect me by not calling me 'Doctor Cullen' but for her . . . she could call me anything she wanted. Like 'rocket man' or 'big daddy C' or hell, even 'propulsifier'. Any of those I'd be beyond pleased with.

_Focus . . . you knew she was coming._

_Nice choice of words, Genius!_

_And stop ogling her . . . dammit!_

I stood and casually held the book-like report I was referring to in front of my Doc Johnson hard on. With my shaky right beat-off hand extended, I took a deep breath and tried to center myself.

She took it without skipping a beat and grasped it firmly.

_Holy pocket rocket fuck!_ Her hands were so soft that I almost burst a strap.

She leaned over while she shook my hand and my whole body tightened. I was damned right away. Straight. To. Fucking. Hell. Where I would do no such said fucking. Her tits that looked delectable were nimbly shaking with each pump of her fist, making it damn near impossible to look away. Her red blouse was tight, slightly see-through and making my imagination go wild. It was the color of a luscious cherry. _Juicy plump cherries_ that I could do naughty things to with my tongue. I was after all, a champion at tying cherry stems into knots.

God, my cock and ball cage was now feeling like not such a hot idea. I needed to loosen the leather strap immediately!

I could feel my left nut that was a millimeter smaller in diameter than my right one, tighten and lift with my rising erection and pressing up against the unfinished leather. This erection wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. It was tightly bound because I had to be a 'cocky' – pun intended – bastard and wore the tighter of the two rings today. I wanted to be an advanced cock ring player. Why didn't I wear my non-skid anal plug to work instead like I usually did?

_Stupid-ass Edward! Wanting to try something new? Yeah, it looked cool when I put it on, but right now, it was anything but nice. Very constricting!_

I knew I was meeting her today, but I had no idea she looked like _that!_ If I had known, I would not have put myself in this tightly bound position!

I ignored the shifting in my pants and tried to keep focused on the project at hand: the new tests we would be running on the combustion chamber for engine model FOK nineteen. _Damn!_ It sounded like a porn robot movie.

_Not helping, Edward . . ._ The cock cage reminded me to quit sexualizing everything. It was hard to undo year's worth of pervy thoughts. 'Pervery' was my specialty; a hobby that nobody here knew about.

Anyway . . . I couldn't help it. Engineering terms sounded incredibly erotic. It was part of the reason I went into this field. It had pervy-nerds-r-us written all over it. One word – _crankshaft. _That was all it took to sell me into this employ. I had hoped to find a female persuasion of me. I had reasoned that women would hear these dirty engineering terms, be seduced by the high salary and thusly, be attracted in droves to work in this industry. It seemed a probable outcome. Or at the very least, I had hoped I would find somebody as kinky and as intellectually superior as I was who at least had a decent sized rack. I gave up after my first year as a professional engineer, realizing that such a woman _did not_ exist and I'd be more likely to get laid by the mythical Yeti.

Why hadn't anybody ever warned me that most of the women in this working environment looked like dudes in drag with polycystic ovary syndrome and in need of shaving their five o'clock shadow with no mammary tissue to be had? It made me want to show up to work drunk so that they would at least resemble the opposite sex through inebriated eyes.

I finally accepted my fate and realized that wouldn't do – I was a professional dammit! Of course, I shouldn't be surrounded by breasts! They made my mind shut down and I was being paid to think, not jerk off in my bathroom. I didn't need to have a woody at work when surrounded by 'women', whom I still maintained, most of them that I came across in this industry weren't. They had personalities that were more butch than my own. Not that they were dykes . . . or at least I didn't think they were. Really, I honestly didn't know, since I kept to myself most of the time as I focused on work.

I even ate alone; lunchtime was my favorite time of day. It was when I played with the items in my 'Edward's special-time drawer'. I kept it under constant lock down until twelve o'clock rolled around and then the lock on my office door would be clicked securely in place, the shades would be drawn and out would come my 'crankshaft' cock, gun oil or boy butter and my favorite pinup for the week.

My newest favorite rendition was a drawing depicting a girl in scantily clad combat gear riding what I would deem a real life 'crotch rocket' of epic proportions. It was reminiscent of old school bombs, but God this woman was incredible. Breasts that were so big they spilled out of her too tiny red shirt, curves that defied logic and legs that curved, dipped and hummed with fantastic appeal.

All coy, sexy as sin; straddling something dangerous between her lush, curvy thighs. Did I ever want to feel those curves!

And her long chocolate river hair that waved and tickled at her cleavage was entirely too tempting. Cherry red puckered lips that matched her shirt and wide innocent eyes that made her even sexier. _Gah!_ It was enough to get me off in less than two minutes, which left fifty eight minutes for me to eat my lunch in quiet solitude. Thank God I had my own private bathroom in my office, or I'd be left with much less time to sanitize my desk and eat something nutritious afterward.

I turned my attention away from my daily grind that I was reliving in my mind and focused back on Miss Swan. And then it hit me with the weight of an atomic bomb why I was cemented in place with a boner of the ages to either be studied in biology classes the world over, or to be used for a new example of rigid compartmental combustion chambers. She looked uncannily like the crotch rocket pinup fantasy girl locked up in my desk!

_Fucking A and all that's shiny, hard and worthy of using a protractor on. She__'s the devil in heels, here to suck out my soul!_

The dynamics of her proportions were astounding; taunting me. Fuck! She had the tiniest waist with breasts that sat atop them with so much roundness that her Cooper's ligaments must have been in great shape; strong too. How did they hold up that much tissue? Were they fake? NO, NO, NO! You didn't get a bounce like that with the fake shit. These were natural, definitely the real deal.

_Oh God, boner so tight! _

Did she have to dress like that? She had to shop at retro places or some shit because it was unlike anything I'd ever seen with my own eyes before. Dressed like a pinup model; or coincidence? Maybe she wanted to impress the staff today since it was her first day to join our team. She was supposed to be coming on as a consultant from a competing company but she looked instead more like an early birthday present just for me.

I had to think back for a moment . . . how long had I been corresponding with her?

Four months! I had been e-mailing her and I had thought she was a man until I was told yesterday by my supervisor that it was a woman I'd be working with. A devastatingly beautiful woman who screamed out carnal pleasure and sex fetishes with a voice that was soft and soothing to round it all off.

_Am I being punked? She is so not an engineer! There are no scary moles, limp hair or coke bottle glasses on her. This is surely a joke!_

I looked around for our resident prankster, Emmett, but he was nowhere around and by now he'd be laughing his ass off at me if this was his doing.

My eyes swept up her form again to try to ascertain if this was truly legit.

I took a pregnant pause, wanting to say something intelligent, but stopped myself because my brain was not keeping up like the cockpit of my awareness that it usually was. It was on static discharge mode.

It took some time to digest this tasty morsel of femininity in front of me.

Her tight black skirt flared her hips out, making the curves more pronounced, making my brain more addled. That fuck hot red blouse topped it off and brought my attention straight to her cleavage. And then south were her legs! Holy fucking calves with slender, mouth watering twists and curves that tapered into her fucking Betty Grable shoes. They made her legs look longer than my Johnson – and that sucker had to be past its full length. Normally my cock protruded at its five point oh eight – unfortunately average size – length and did its job correctly when I greeted it with my palm. Now it was pointed straight at her, feeling the length of my zipper. Circumference was proudly bursting at it's larger than average girth of five point nine seven one inches, one whole inch denser than most dicks. Something I was very fond of repeating to my fragile ego in times like these when I happened to be a near an attractive woman. I wished I had my tape measure at that instant, 'cause it definitely felt like an anaconda down my leg trapped in its cage. It might have given me online bragging rights to my pinup fanatical buddies if I had had specific measurements to share.

I was a grower, not a shower, but I felt certain that I was worthy of an erection metal today.

"Um . . . yeah, I'm Edward." I faltered verbally. Images of her hands above the organic tightly stretched leather on my scrotum, stroking and purring at my tip, talking into it like it was an old style microphone was making me incoherent and impotent of speech.

_Cue annoying cock twitching . . ._

_Fuck! It's going to be a long ass day and I'm not even caffeine buzzed yet._

My private bathroom that was ten feet away seemed a galaxy beyond my reach, as did my gun oil in my locked up drawer.

"Uuugh," I whimpered under my breath.

_I'm sure my balls are a lovely shade of royal purple right about now . . ._

_**BPOV**_

I watched him watching me and I couldn't believe it. The look in his eyes was spine tingling. I licked my lips and watched as his eyes widened. Fuck, he was a hot engineer. Really, that was not something that was usually said about aerospace engineers, but Edward was _hot_ with a capital H, an exception to the rule.

I had heard that he was gorgeous, but difficult to work with since he had OCD tendencies and was very particular about how he ran his team and his experiments.

What had I recently been told? Oh yeah . . . 'Don't get sucked in by his green eyes . . . He's a prick who runs a tight operation and not open to anybody else's thoughts or opinions. A bona fide dickhead,' my friend Alice had told me. She had had run-ins with him and had said she would never work with him again.

'We'll see . . .' I had told myself, determined to prove them all wrong. And really, how good looking could he be that the other women in the industry were falling all over themselves but almost scared to be around him like he was an impossible man to get along with. A fucking brilliant man with a God complex was the impression that I got.

_Oh. My. God. They did not over-exaggerate his sexual appeal. I've died and gone to geek god heaven._

He was a nerd, no doubt about it, he fit the description pretty well, and I loved a good looking nerd, but they usually found the way I dressed a little… _odd._ What could I say, I loved the pinup look. I felt sexy and powerful, but mostly sexy, and with the way Edward was looking at me I could tell he thought the same. He wasn't just looking, he was devouring.

While going over the timeline for the project, I was happy to see it was going to be for well over a year that I would be stuck with him and I'd get my chance to break through his impenetrable exterior. It was a challenge I had been more than happy to engage in. S. T. U. C. K. Fuck, I'd be happier if he was _stuck_ inside me. _Mmm,_ the mental image left my panties wet as I pictured his cock. I would see it; I would feel it in me. I would _make_ him fuck me.

_Houston, we have a problem . . . a big problem from the looks of the way his pants are straining between his thighs. Hmmm, NASA would be proud of the aerodynamics of that crankshaft._

"Umm . . . So, yeah, I was wondering what you wanted to start with? I mean, I could give you a tour of my pants, I uh . . . mean p-plant . . ." he stammered, his feet shuffling on the ground.

_Oh yeah, this was going to be fun!_

His face paled from his embarrassment and I had to stifle the giggle from his slip. Oh, how I wanted him to give me a tour of his pants. I was sure it would be a fantastic tour.

_We'll get to that Mr. Cullen . . . Game on!_

"Hmm, while the pants would be a nice tour, and one I'm sure I'd thoroughly enjoy, I do think we should start with the plant and see where it leads, don't you agree?" I asked, batting my eyelashes at him, laying it on thicker than maple syrup; sugary sweet and fucking delicious to suck off of sensual, tight skin. My eyes shifted and zeroed in on his straining pants that he was trying to hide with his report. _Plan working so far . . . _

"Uh . . . yes, of course. You're in charge and I am looking forward to . . . whatever you might have in store . . . for me and the project. Did you get a chance to look over the analysis report I sent you?" he asked. Where was the ball-buster? The man who was impossible to please? There was no arrogance. Were they all lying sacks? He seemed incredibly sweet and very vulnerable.

His eyes were trained on my mouth and I watched his tongue peek out slightly to lick his lips. The report was still tightly gripped in his hands in front of him while he shifted his weight and I was certain it was hiding the rocket I was most interested in. You couldn't hide tenting action like that unless it was under a solid desk.

_Come on, hot ass. Show me whatya got! Give me your attitude and that lip that you're so renowned for. I wanna see it for myself!_

I was ready for whatever he was going to throw at me . . . but so far he seemed very tame. _What gives? I felt like I was winning a war that he wasn't waging._

_Maybe time to shift tactics? Was he playing me . . . ?_

"Yes, I do believe I am in charge and I have many ideas of what to do with you," I replied, my gaze moving up and down his body. If he was going to play me, then I was going to start out showing him my ammo so that he knew I wasn't going to be played. I was armed and in charge! _Damn straight!_ I pulled my lip between my teeth to keep from moaning as I imagined the equipment he was hiding. _Shit but he was hot!_ "But for now we'll have to settle with going over that big report you're hiding in your hands."

He smiled at me and it was definitely a nervous one.

"Th-this one? Don't you have your own copy? This is my only one and I kinda need it," he noted, his eyes glancing down to his crotch.

_Was he for real? This shy act was seriously throwing me off of my game!_

He shifted; distracting me. Damn! He was so . . . yummy!

_Mmmm, crotch rocket._ Oh, I really wanted to see that.

"Maybe we could just sit for a moment and talk about how you see this whole allotted time of working together going. How does your firm, Siemen's Engineering see this whole thing playing out?" he asked innocently enough.

Was it bad that when he said my company's name I nearly came? I had giggled about the name myself, but when it rolled off of his tongue is was damn near porn worthy.

Okay, now I was really off of my game, relaxing entirely too much due to his raw silk, 'be in my bed now!' kind of voice that spoke straight to my core and melted down to the apex of my thighs. _Fuck! Need a fan and a glass of ice water. Hot in here!_

He sat down in the chair behind his desk and instead of sitting in one of the two chairs in front of his desk I opted for another location. After all, if there was a desk between us, it would be a little difficult for him to fuck me and I really wanted him to do that. More than I wanted to bring him to his knees in submission to me. I just needed to feel him inside of me—it was paramount to my survival at that point. I could barely breathe as I stared into those sparkling emeralds that he called 'eyes'. So genuine and deep. How the hell did people feel intimidated by him? He was so gentle and sweet. I wanted to hold him till he felt secure and then I wanted to fuck him senseless because he was making me insane with lust, but after . . . I wanted to baby him and take care of him since he seemed borderline fragile.

What the hell was wrong with me? I just met the man in the flesh and already I was in full on 'nurturing woman' mode. _That was not me!_

Moving to his side of the desk I sat on the edge, determined to take control of myself and him. That's when I noticed his eyes glued to my tits again.

It was time to up my flirting and pull out all the stops.

"Well, we at Siemen's," I began, making sure to put emphasis on the name, "are here to help with anything you need. Anything." I leaned forward to stress 'anything'. "Our job is to help make sure that you meet the deadline for the FOK nineteen. Whether it be in designing the piston shaft, the fluid mechanics, the internal combustion or the machining of the parts so that they fit perfectly together."

I pushed my middle finger into the circle of my fist to make it simulate the last part. I wondered if a larger scale demonstration was in order.

"Hooohhh." He took a deep breath and I felt a deep, smug satisfaction take hold of me. "So . . . you trust me to do this right? I . . . think that . . . fuck! Oh sorry, I get nervous . . . and then I . . . Well, I slip up. Not with my analysis or data, that's solid. I mean my mouth . . . Christ! That came out wrong," he stammered, his hands running through his hair, fidgeting uncontrollably. "I trust you . . . is what I meant to say. I know that you know this project inside and out but I . . . had some unorthodox ideas on how to lubricate the shaft. If you're open-minded, then maybe . . . we could come to an agreement on how to approach the trial later today . . ."

Well, fuck! His rambling was endearing but had my teeth on edge. Was he really going to roll over like this? He was practically handing me the damn reins. Was he . . . afraid of _me? _Already?

_Nice!_

He smiled shyly at me and I couldn't help but let out a little giggle from the high I was getting over this power.

_Ramble, Edward. Keep going. It's fuck hot! _

"Oh, I'm open to all ideas on how to lubricate the shaft. I have a few of my own, actually. So many different fluids you can use to ensure a smooth motion with just the right amount of friction. And I am all for testing out ideas for a trial," I said, licking my lips. "Later today, later tonight, Whenever."

"O-okay, that's . . . uh, sounds nice. Could you tell me your idea for lubrication first so I can see if we-we're on the same page or not? You might not like my ideas. They're very . . . let's just say, not standard procedural lube." His eyes shifted nervously to his locked desk drawer, giving all of his naughty little secrets away.

Ahhh, so he was like that, was he? Oh, God . . . I was being blessed with a kinky bastard to win over. I was even more tensed and poised for action.

This was getting better and better . . .

"Well, there is a new lube out that is supposed to be similar to . . . natural human fluids that I would like to try out. Maybe even test both and see how they compare. How does that sound?" I stared not so subtly at the book covering the object I wanted to see most.

His breathing was shaky and his eyes sparkled, growing wide with boyish excitement.

"Oh my God, Doctor Swan, you have no idea how great that is to hear! I did a mock trial run with the prototype combustion engine at my house last night with some gun oil . . ." He suddenly went fire engine red at his admission. Then he regrouped, trying to put on his professional hat. " . . . And the friction was kept to a minimum. It worked really well. Which lubricant were you referring to?" He looked on edge, worried that I was going to ask about what naughty things he kept in his secret, locked drawer.

Oh yes . . . I would get inside that drawer, along with those pants of his . . .

I blinked at him coyly. "I . . . um . . . would you care to demonstrate this for me? I'd really like to see it in action." I couldn't help the smirk that adorned my face. He was positively, without a doubt the sexiest, most adorable man I had ever met! I wanted him more than I had wanted to get ahead in this damn field and that was saying a fucking ton! "And tell me more about this 'gun oil', it sounds very intriguing and I'd like to get my hands on it and see just how good it is."

"Oh, um, okay. I have some here, in my drawer . . . if you just . . . "

Fuck! Yes! Win! He was going to show me his stash? _Fuck me now, Mr. Green eyed 'I-have-an-erection-that-will-blast-the-next-shuttle-to-Mars-no-problem'._ _Let's be done with this game!_

Silently he asked for me to move my legs aside so that he could get in the drawer. I moved only slightly, insuring that he would have to brush his hand against me. To him it was an accident, but I knew what I was doing. Accidental touches were the gateway to purposeful touches and I really, really, wanted his hands all over me.

He unlocked the drawer and quickly opened it; very self conscious about the contents inside. My eyes widened in shock as I quickly memorized the conglomeration of items. Edward Cullen, geeky engineer extraordinaire was even kinkier a bastard than I had thought! He had pinup girly magazines in there along with some sex toys, a butt plug amongst them, my favorite toys of all: cock rings, several types of lubes, some sanitary spray and some tissues to catch his come. God, I about died on the spot! _This man was making me hornier than a seventeen year old virgin teenaged boy. He was exactly who I had been searching for in all my years as a closeted borderline sex addict!_

My Lord, I'd only met him in person less than five minutes prior and he had just sealed the deal on my decision to marry him and have his geeky kids because there was nothing I wanted more at that moment than his cock buried inside my tight, wet pussy.

Every word out of his mouth was my ultimate geek porn; stumbling, stuttering, blushing, and unintentional innuendos.

Internally I wondered if what he had in that drawer was currently being used on him? Did he have on a cock ring? Was there a butt plug hidden in this naughty wet-dream of a man? My mind raced, imagining him naked, his cock standing proud. I licked my lips at the image. I had to know!

It had been more than a year since any rockets had entered my silo and I was bound and determined to seduce him right then before I combusted.

He handed me a bottle and I survey it. It was lube. Anal lube. Fuck. He was trying to kill me!

"This is . . . uh yeah, gun oil. It's kind of . . . sort of a-anal lubricant." That nice fiery red glow had returned to his chiseled jaw and taut neck as he pussy footed about. It was dorkalicious. And then . . . praise Jesus! His report that was covering his hard on fell to the floor.

It took no time for me to spot my prize that was straining at the zipper on his pants. But it had taken everything in me not to fall to my knees and pull out the bulge he was sporting from its confines and engulf it.

"My, my, anal lube? And you keep this in your desk drawer?" I asked teasingly, my eyes still glued to the area between his legs. I saw a slight twitch beneath the fabric and let out a small moan at the sight. "'Good for hand-jobs and anal penetration'," I read out loud from the label for kicks, seeing if I could arouse him further and make that red skin turn a shade darker. "Why, I would love to have a demonstration on how to use this later, if you wouldn't mind, Doctor Cullen? To make sure it doesn't dry out to quickly like some can. Would you be willing to assist me in this?"

"Oh, I . . . uh, well, I was going to run another test trial tonight with another lubrication that is supposed to cool to the touch. It's not silicone though, like gun oil is. So, it probably won't last as long . . . You're welcome to join me and take notes," he suggested. He was a little braver now—looking me in the eye.

I smiled down at him; watching as he looked at me shyly, then I saw his gaze move to ogling my breasts. _Fuck! Look all you want bad boy . . . they're here for you. All of you! _

"Is that what you . . . wait! Assist you?" he asked. _Cue light bulb_. "Did you want to run your own test trials? With your own lubricant?" he asked innocently and slightly confused.

_Oh holy innocent. Fuck, I want to eat you up._

My pussy throbbed in agreement to that plan. I wanted to stroke his shaft in my heated core before squeezing him tight and making him explode in shuttle launching proportions.

"I was going to do it in the privacy of my own home though, so if it fails nobody else will have to see it. Did you have another location in mind for yours?"

And there was my opening for after hours 'testing'.

_How about my place? I have many surfaces we can utilize for the 'testing'._

"I thought I'd do it in my home and I thought we could compare different lubricants . . . including my own . . . and see which works best. To see which creates less or more friction and the most fluid exchange." Clearly I was mischievous and in need of a good hard fucking! He definitely had the equipment and it was ready to go.

"Okay, if you don't mind, I'd like to document it and take pictures," he said and I nearly fell off the edge of his desk in shock that he still didn't quite understand what I was saying to him.

"Document and take pictures? Well . . . I suppose that we could do that." This was going to be harder than I thought.

"Would it be okay if I brought my dinner with me and I could eat while you perform it so I can see how you manipulate the shaft?" he asked and I wanted to inform him he could have me for dessert. "I would love to see how you work with the mechanism. I've only ever seen my team do it and they all follow my protocols exactly so it would be nice to have a change. Oh wait . . . I was going to be making some fish with some muskmelon. The smell might offend you. Should I eat at home before I come over?"

I blinked at him in wonderment. Did he even know that everything out of his mouth had a double meaning? "Fish and muskmelon? Is that a smell you like? Either way is fine, but if you get hungry later, I have some you can eat."

"Well . . . I wouldn't put you out like that. I don't particularly care about smells. You see, I'm olfactory challenged and have a deviated septum. So, really I barely notice odors. You could make something that smells downright . . . unpleasant and I wouldn't notice. By the way, what were you planning on eating for dinner? Maybe you might want to share my meal with me? I can make extra? I can't ever manage to eat a whole melon. They're too large for one man to consume solo," he responded with a smile and a gulp.

I watched his Adam's apple bob in his throat and again I kept myself from launching from my perch and attacking it with my tongue. My eyes were heavy and I felt my nipples contract, begging for him to touch them.

_Oh, Doctor Cullen, do I have a few food innuendos for you._

"Oh, melons are okay, but I prefer cucumbers. They're long and hard and you can stick them in anything. I'm a red meat kinda girl. A nice juicy mouthwatering slab of meat," I breathed at him.

"Yow!" he exclaimed, startling me. "Do you know how bad red meat is for you? It's high in fat and can clog your arteries. Fish oil is very healthy for you . . . Unless, wait! Are you anemic? Women who have heavy menstrual cycles tend to be anemic," he rambled before clasping his hand over his mouth, a look of horror adorning his features. "Umm . . . you don't have to . . . Ignore me, please. I'm not very good with . . . you know-"

"Oh, it's quite alright, Edward. And I can assure you my arteries aren't clogged and . . ." I reassured him and stood up, spinning in front of him. "I don't have too much fat on me, do I?"

"Um . . ." he began, his eyes widened. "No. Not really . . . you're glutes look nice and trim. Do you exercise because you worry about atherosclerosis like I do? I run up and down the stairs in my house several times in the morning to get the heart pumping. It gives me a perfect resting heart rate. Wanna feel it?" he asked excitedly and grabbed my hand, placing it on his chest over his heart. He had the cutest dorkiest smile on his face.

"Nice," I complimented before grabbing hold of his hand and placed it palm down right between my breasts. I was bound and determined to have his hands on my tits if I had to do it myself. "Here . . . feel mine." His eyes nearly bugged out of his head and I grabbed hold of his other hand. "Oh, and you have to feel what the stairs do to my glutes." I moved his other hand to rest on my ass, squeezing my fingers over his so that he was grabbing it. While I hoped this would make him realize I was coming on to him, I was beginning to realize he was going to be a harder nut to crack than I originally thought. _Mmm, nuts. I bet his are salty . . . I love salty foods. _"Maybe we could work out together," I suggested with a wink.

"U-uh, yeah. You have st-stairs too? I could . . . I mean, yeah, I can work out with you. And um . . . is it cold in here? 'Cause you kind of have T.H.O. I like to turn the air down to sixty eight degrees, it helps me to focus but if it's too frosty, I can turn the air up for you."

I could feel his fingers twitching on my body, but he didn't move them away. Not that I would notice if he did after telling me that my nipples were hard. I honestly wasn't sure what to make of it. Was it just a caring observation for my comfort or was he flirting with me by pointing out that he noticed my melons?

"Janey," he continued, oblivious to my inner thoughts, "who's two doors down, won't come into my office because she has Raynaud's syndrome and it hurts her nipples to be in here. I'm glad though . . . I don't really like her. She's grumpy and looks like a catfish, not to mention she's an intellectual deadweight. But really . . . do I need to turn the air up for you?" He asked me with so much sincerity that it was apparent it was all for my well being; it laced his tone sweetly.

_Damn, he wasn't flirting._

"Oh, I don't think it's the temperature that is affecting me, Doctor Cullen. And what is this Raynaud's syndrome? I'm not sure I've heard of that before," I questioned gently with his hands still locked on my body.

"It's a very serious condition," he began. He was very . . . well . . . serious about the serious condition. I giggled inside as I pledged my undying love for his geekiness. "I had to research it myself so I could help Janey. It's a vasospasm of the nipple, where it blanches white and then it stings like it's going numb from cold. The antidote is warm wet compresses or . . . um, I have . . . very warm hands. If you have that condition, I can warm them up for you, if you like," he offered, swallowing hard, his voice cracking with a whimper before looking up at me shyly through his lashes.

_Hallelujah! Houston, we have lift off!_

I did a happy dance in my head at the perceived triumph and my panties flooded because, damn, the look on his face . . . _fuck. _

"Oh, my, is it dangerous?" I asked, my voice going up in pitch so that I sound distressed. "Maybe I do have that. Would you mind helping me out?" I asked, releasing his hands.

"No, I can certainly check it out for you. My dad's a medical doctor, a surgeon, and he lets me study some of his anatomy and physiology books. It's . . . well, let's . . . we have to," he stumbled over his words and moved to lock the office door and shut the blinds. "C-can I . . . may I?" he asked, motioning with his eyes at the buttons on my blouse. "If you don't want me to touch you . . . I have some women's water soluble lubricant in my drawer that has warming properties. Although, it's not meant for vasospasms so I don't know if it would make it worse?" He was shifting around uncertain of what he should do and I knew I was going to have to take the lead. "It's in a spray bottle too." He gave a weak, nervous smile.

_But damn, how was he still not inside of me? How had I not jumped him already?_

I started to unbutton my shirt, moving things along, revealing my lacy bra beneath. "I am perfectly happy with you touching me." I took it off quickly and deftly threw it on the floor. I did not hesitate. I unclasped my bra, adding it to the floor, smirking in the process.

_Like that, dirty boy? Naughty, gorgeous boy who likes to fuck his hand with tools and greasy lubes? I've got a completely natural lube that I think you'll like . . ._

His hands shook slightly but he looked determine to 'help' me. My heart pounded furiously over his impending touch.

"Feel my touch . . . that's what my dad always says before he touches somebody—you know, a patient of his. So, you know that I'm going to examine you." He nodded at me like a dorky doctor. His hands finally landed clumsily on my waiting breasts. "If I move them around a little bit it might provide some friction." He hummed anxiously and couldn't stop staring at my tits. I liked that . . . a lot! "Is this . . . is it better? Do they feel warmer? Because if it's not the right temperature, you know . . . my mouth is warm and wet and that could take the place of warm, wet compresses. It would be more efficient."

I moaned heavily, dragging in a ragged breath. "Oh, yes, and the friction is wonderful. Would you please use your mouth? I'm sure that would help so much," I said, nibbling on my bottom lip, my nipples getting harder. I grabbed his belt to bring him closer, barely aware of my lust filled actions.

"Oh-okay, yeah, I think I can do that. But I haven't brushed my teeth in two hours. Do I need to sanitize with mouthwash first so I don't introduce any pathogens? I wouldn't want to mess up the natural flora on the skin of your breasts . . . because their really, um, nice. Perfectly symmetrical and that's rare. The roundness is," he stopped, gulped in some air in a little frightened gasp. He continued hesitantly, "Beyond description. But if you're not worried about upsetting the normal balance . . . then I can do it now." Emerald eyes looked at me, pleading for my guidance. "Unfortunately the mouth is not as sterile as the vagina."

And that did it! I was in absolute bliss! He said 'vagina' and my pupils dilated, along with the gates of fluid in my pussy. I was seriously dripping in epic proportions.

His eyes went saucer-wide, petrified with fear. "Fuck! Sorry . . . " he muttered a contrite apology, head hanging in shame.

_Oh, baby. Don't be sorry. I love the things you're saying! They're perfect. You just may be perfect!_

"Please, by all means, go right ahead, I'm not worried." I tried to reassure him and pulled him closer so that our hips were almost touching. He finally noticed what I was doing and quirked a delicious eyebrow at me. "Not as sterile as the vagina? Oh, tell me more."

"Mmhm, the vagina is the most sterile place on a woman's body. You should only ever put organic things inside of you. I only buy organic lubes . . . but I don't have a vagina so I . . . well, yeah. I'll help you now." He zipped his lips; I wished he was unzipping his pants. But I was glad he was going to finally put his mouth on me. Right before contact, he took his verboseness to a new level. "If you ever wanted me to check your vagina for proper pH, I am very good at running lab tests and I have steady fingers. I play the ukulele in my spare time for fun. It has very small strings." He seemed satisfied that he had shared enough with me and eagerly clasped his mouth over my right breast. I moaned a little at contact and tried to stay still and not grind into his hard on. He kept his eyes steadily on mine, confident as fuck! I was blown away that he had shifted so effortlessly from stumbling goof to sexy in thousand dollar dress pants.

He lightly sucked in an awkward way but then got the hang of it and shifted his position so that we were both more comfortable.

His tongue started flicking in an erotic way on my nipple and his pulsing suckling almost had me on my knees. 'Got milk?' I wanted to ask him, teasing him, since fluids were his expertise.

I refrained from being a smart ass, instead making the room fill with my pleasurable moans.

I looked down at him with heavy lids, hips lightly rocking and decided I definitely, unequivocally needed more!

"Testing the pH?" I said through a breathy sigh. I licked my lips, wanting to taste him and whimpered as his suction increased at my suggestion. "I think that would be a very good idea, just in case, you know. I try to only put organic in there, my favorite are home grown . . . cylinder shaped items."

My brain started to fuzz, haziness taking over. I could no longer think straight—his lips were crazy brilliant!

His head swiftly popped up in concern, his eyes slits, barely visible. "There are only certain approved materials that can be in the vagina. Silicone is considered safe but never TCP's. You don't put them in there, do you? If you want, I can do the pH test the old fashioned way, right here, right now. Since my sense of smell is out of whack, I have highly sensitive taste buds and can ascertain if something is acidic or basic with my tongue. I would only need one taste . . ."

"TCP? What's that? I know my vibrator is silicone, and well, cocks are what I would consider the most organic cylinder in the world to put up there." I laid it on heavy and thick like viscous fluid that had been exposed to air too long. "You really wouldn't mind doing that for me?"

"No, I wouldn't mind at all. It's important to get these things checked out." Pausing, he looked like he was working something out in his head—probably statistics on how many venereal diseases I might be carrying around. "Oh, sorry, I meant . . . PVC. I guess I'm not really that great at giving a physical. I'm a little nervous. Sorry my palms are sweaty but then, they're acting like warm, wet compresses right? PVC's are plastics that give off gasses that are noxious and not good for the glandular tissues. Never ever put that in your pussy, Bella." I giggled internally. I knew what PVC's were, but I loved hearing his little tirade of a lecture on all things involved with pussy health. He glanced down at my crotch with longing and then put my left nipple in his mouth in an almost possessive way. I watched with yearning while he palmed my other tit, making me more urgent to have him!

Teasing seemed to be my best bet. "Oh no! When I was younger I made a dildo out of PVC, do you think I'm okay? I think you need to check!"

Fuck! I was having so much fun turning him into my own sexy doctor!

"It could be serious. My tongue will tell me if you're okay or not."

"Hurry! Hurry!" I urged him on!

"Okay, you take your clothes off and I'll get my mouth ready." He started making absurd faces as he did some facial exercises. _I loved this man! _He made me laugh and made my pussy cry._ Too good to be true!_ "I have to warn you. You're my first client to try this on . . . so this is a test trial. I can't guarantee that it will be completely successful. But if you're sure . . . And if you're a good patient, I'll give you a sucker afterward," he said, completely serious.

I wanted to pinch his cheeks;_ all of them!_

Before he changed his mind, I unzipped my almost painted on skirt and slipped it down seductively to reveal my garter belt and thigh high silk stockings. I tried desperately not to giggle at his absurd faces. I wanted to see his come face, not his clown faces.

"Do I need to spread my legs wide for you, Doctor Cullen? Should I sit on the desk?"

That got his full attention! His cock twitched, his jaw slackened and I felt gratified and ready to guide him to my entrance.

_This is my pussy, Doctor Green Eyes. Touch it!_

"Yes . . . um the desk is fine. And I . . . is it okay if I use my flashlight to make sure I can see everything?" That Boy Scout was prepared! He pulled a head strap flashlight out of his top desk drawer and set it next to me. "Wider is always better so I can get a good runway for my tongue." His tongue flicked out slightly and I all but wanted to suck it like a vacuum!

I sat on the edge of his desk, legs practically doing the splits. I was pretty limber and very proud of that fact.

"Like this?"

"Yes, that's it." He cleared his throat and never asked me about my current sexual STD status, which was in perfect order, I had no problems in that regard. "Okay, I'm going in." He took a long, languid lick that felt intense and smooth as he slicked over my wet flesh. But then he paused. What the fuck? Did I taste like fish and melons? "You know . . . different areas of the vulva may have different pH values. I should probably collect a random sampling of all of the tissues to remain objective."

He wasn't playing me. I could see that he was hiding his raw, animalistic desire behind this professional 'doctor-patient' charade he had going on and it made me even more desirous.

_God, he was good!_

I took in a punctuated, shuddered breath. "Yes, yes, please do. To be thorough and all." He had me utterly disarmed and at his mercy. It was pathetic how quickly I capitulated and was groveling at his feet for more of his mouth and touch.

He hmm'ed and licked his lips loudly, ingesting my juices on his skin, trying to be discreet.

Then, oh then, he really started in on me. A slow, seductive tonguing of my vulva that made my insides clench and scream for more until I was sopping wet.

He stopped to address my state. "This is a little messy. Sorry about that. But I have a bidet in my personal bathroom. You're welcome to use it when I'm done." And then he went back for more, thank fuck! 'Cause I was really, really in a state of euphoric high and I might have had to kill him if he left me cruelly unfinished like that!

I futilely tried to stifle my feral moans. But that didn't mean I could control my raging libido. I had one hand absentmindedly playing with my nipple while the other one grabbed fiercely onto his hair, pulling, demanding. Sonofabitch! I was forcing him in, fucking his mouth. "Oh, yes. Mmm."

"You like what I'm doing?" His face registered his all out shock. "Does it feel good?"

Was it not clear by the way I was clutching him to me? Or was he teasing me, wanting me to tell him how hopelessly keyed up over him I was? That was fine. I didn't care anymore. I wanted him and if that meant pleading for his cock, I would do just that.

"Mmm, oh, Edward, it feels wonderful. Did you find anything? Or do you need to keep tasting?" I inquired, flirting and playing the coquettish pinup, since that was who he wanted and who I was at heart.

"I think your pH is perfectly balanced. You obviously take good care of your labia. I'm concerned though that maybe I did this wrong? Whenever I get my yearly physical it never feels good." He flashed me a puzzled look.

"Perhaps they're not doing it right, because what you are doing is very, very right. Maybe I could give it a try? What do they usually do in your physical?" I grinned like a cat stalking it's pray, knowing it will fucking strike when least expected.

"Turn head. Cough. Grabbing of scrotal tissues . . . you know, that . . . stuff. But um . . . are you qualified? Is your dad a doctor too?" He stood up to his full height, fuck he was tall! I loved seeing his massive frame hovering over me, staring at my breasts, mouth sloppily glistening with my ample amount of lubrication. He licked hungrily all around his lips to catch it all.

Fuck, that was HOT!

"No, but I have quite a bit of experience and knowledge with scrotal tissue."

I whimpered over the fact that he was no longer between my thighs and I already missed his bronzed hair moving in such a seductive way as his head bobbed about. That shit should have been illegal; it was that erotic and off the charts sexy.

"I have to warn you though, my penis is slightly askew. I wasn't circumcised either. It's not a problem, but I have a slight bend in my shaft." He started taking his pants off to show me.

_Yes, yes, show me!_

"Uncircumcised? I don't have much experience with those. And don't worry about a slight bend, women love those. They hit just the right places." I was biting my lip now in anticipation and watched with rapt attention as he pulled himself free.

"I've been told it's kind of big . . . er, thick. Is that o-okay? Your hands are awfully small." He looked down at his dick, anxious that it would not be appealing to me. Then his whole body went rigid when he realized what he was wearing. I knew it! I knew he was using one of his toys! Holy God, it looked so amazing on him! "Shit! Sorry, I forgot I was wearing this thing. I like to cover it up sometimes with jewelry or toys. It's not very good looking but I don't have a phimosis, so that's good. I wish it was . . . more attractive. But the width is more than most. Average length." He stumbled over his words and I wanted to stumble my way on top of him!

I stared, mesmerized and in shock at the cock ring and cage that housed his big boy.

"It _is_ very thick." I wondered what angle and trajectory would be best to get all of that down my throat. I dropped down on my knees in front of him, getting a closer look. "This is a beautiful cock you have here, Edward." I negated what he said. It was utter nonsense. Why did he think it wasn't good enough?

Resistance was futile: I wrapped one hand around the shaft and began inspecting. I didn't see anything that was out of the ordinary. It was beautiful and the tip was glistening with pre-come to make it look that much more spectacular and enticing.

"You're awfully warm, but I'd expect that in an erect penis. All the blood at the tip." Swiping my hand over the head, I watched his eyes roll back slightly in his head and then began my torturously slow assault, stroking down his length. "Nice and hard. Are you always this excited? That could be a problem. I may have to help you reduce the swelling"

"Do you . . . is this wrong . . . the swelling, I mean? Does it also bother you that I'm wearing a cock and ball cage? Does it freak you out?"

"No, I find it . . . exciting. How does it feel? Is it too tight? Does it restrict the blood flow?" I visually took in the enormity of his size again and delicately touched around his cock, inspecting it further. My hand continued to slide up and down his shaft in long, fluid motions.

"Yes . . . it does when I'm not flaccid but that's what it's supposed to do. The cock ring is supposed to keep the blood in the cock and prolong orgasm so the man can last longer and can satisfy his woman, bringing her to full orgasm through intercourse before he does. Of course I don't have much experience with that either. I don't really . . . get around a whole lot." He stared in a hypnotic state at my hands on his junk. "I . . . Bella . . . I think you're pushing this device to its limits. You're gonna make me . . . uunnnhh!" He groaned heavy and loud, sending a shock wave straight to my groin.

"I haven't been satisfied in a long time. Perhaps we could test this device out in a purely scientific setting to determine its efficacy?" I wasted no time, leaned forward and wrapped my lips around the head, sucking on it briefly. I groaned salaciously at his wet, urgent sounds. He wanted to release and I wanted him to! In my . . .

"Oh Bella . . . oh God . . . semen's antibacterial. It's probably not good for your mouth . . . Ugh . . . but maybe you could just . . . spit and rinse after . . . ? Oh fucking . . . that feels good." His hands floated into my hair and tangled in my locks, hips flexing with my sucking.

He pulled my hands and mouth away and looked down at me with adoration and manic urgency. A quiet pleading took place; he was begging me, making sure that I wouldn't lead him on and leave him high and dry. Not a problem. I fully intended to see this through.

I went back to my prize and suddenly felt a surge of pure panic hit me. "Oh my God! You're turning purple! We need to get this off!"

I turned around and reached for his bottle of gun oil. That was the best way? To grease him up and squeeze him out?

"What? Oh fuck, oh Lord! I love my dick . . . PLEASE SAVE IT, BELLA! QUICK! It's starting to throb . . . oh God, there's a bead of fluid. Is it . . . pre-come? Is this normal? Hold on, little crankshaft. Bella's going to set you free! Stupid shitty advanced player ring!"

He was hopping around, freaking out and pulling at his hair, close to yanking it out by the roots.

Desperate to help him, I tried to unsnap it on the sides but he was moving around too much.

"Why isn't it coming off? Am I too hard?" he shrieked, his voice escalated and elevated in pitch. I would have laughed at how funny he sounded if I wasn't worried about him losing his favorite appendage. "Can you at least tell me that you liked the girth of it before it is constricted and dies? Is this thing like a tourniquet? Oh God, Bella, I'm going to die a virgin. A kinky sick, fuck-up virgin! Don't let me go out that way!" he confessed.

"Hold still! I can't get it off with you moving around!" I ignored what he probably considered his deathbed admission and tried again to free him. He slowed his movements enough that I could see better what I was doing. In a matter of seconds, I unclasped it and with the help of the lube pulled it off. I sighed in relief. The last thing I wanted was for him to be dickless when I hadn't even gotten to fully enjoy its curve and extra girth. It looked wickedly sexy until it turned royal purple. My eyes turned to him.

"God your cock is thick; you really shouldn't have put such a small ring on such a thick piece of meat . . . Did you just say virgin?" I said, backtracking a little bit, as the weight of his words settled into my brain.

"Oh . . . um . . . maybe?" An unsteady sigh of relief passed his lips, but it wasn't because of what he said, it was because his shaft was still attached. I watched as he gripped his cock, staring like a parent would after saving their child from certain doom after running out into oncoming traffic. I hid my smirk as he gently cooed at it, "It's okay, Cranky. It's alright. She didn't hurt you, did she?" He lightly smacked himself in the forehead, realizing that I was hearing him blame me for this befuddled clusterfuck of a mess. "I mean . . . um, I . . . It was my fault. I ignored the warning on the box and thought I could handle the smaller rings since I didn't think I'd be fully erect at work. But then you show up . . ." he motioned to me with his chin, "looking like my pinup fantasy girl and letting me touch you. God, I almost became a eunuch!" My God, he was all over the place, not that I could blame him. I might be frazzled if I almost lost my clit. Edward's attention went back to his shaft. "Sssfff! This really stings! Is it swelling? I mean, now that it's flaccid and scared shitless?" Masculine, strong hands started yanking lightly on his foreskin and even more thoroughly examining his bits. I had to admit, it was very entertaining to watch.

"I think it's okay now . . . though your balls look very unhappy." I felt bad for the poor guy but it was hard to keep a straight face; I looked back up at Edward and smirked. At least I wasn't outright laughing at the guy. "So, you have a thing for pinup girls?" I started in on him. It didn't take long for me get back on track and in the game. Slowly, I leaned in and whispered in his ear, tauntingly, "That's great, because I have a thing for dressing like a pinup." I exhaled lightly in his ear. "Everyday."

"Wha . . . ? You . . . Are you? You're going to be working with me . . . " A light bulb went on in his head as he realized how screwed he was in this scenario. "Where's your office? How often will you be here?" The wheels in his head were turning as he tried to work it all out and strategize over how he was going to deal with me.

"My office is four doors down and I'll be here every single work day of the week for the whole next year. You'll have to let me know which outfit is your favorite, and I want a detailed report. I'm sure that's something that you can handle. Right, Edward?"

"Yes." Squeaking seemed to be a problem for him, but then his nuts got a tight squeeze so I could look past it. He turned away from me, and then rummaged through his unlocked desk drawers and procured a sucker for me. Apparently, along with kink, he had a sweet tooth. "I'm going to . . . you should probably get cleaned up. I'll take you on a tour . . . and then lunch."

Greedily, I took the sucker from him. "That sounds like a good idea. Then perhaps later we can more fully explore this . . . lubrication debate." Not wanting to let another opportunity pass by, I leaned over exposing my pussy as I picked my clothes up off of the ground.

Gasps rang out behind me. "Whatever you say." He turned around to get dressed, absurdly suddenly being modest. I had to chuckle at that. God, he was fucking fun to be with! So unexpected in so many ways.

"The bathroom's over there," he informed me, pointing to the open door in the far corner. "Tell me if you need help operating the bidet. Everything in there is organic, so you don't have to worry about what you come in contact with. I also clean that bathroom myself with biodegradable cleansers."

"You sure do like things clean . . . and organic. I'm glad my pussy was okay, I wouldn't want to infect you with any harmful, non-organic juices." I cocked a sassy eyebrow at him. Challenging him was becoming an addiction.

"For the love of . . . God, I didn't even get to have your juices on my . . . fluid dynamics. It's not . . ." Ranting incoherently under his breath, he started gesticulating at his crotch and going on about how he was still a pathetic virgin. "How do I always get the shaft?" he whimpered to himself.

I reached down and palmed him through his pants.

_Big boy, if I have anything to do with it, you will not remain a virgin long . . . _

"Hopefully I'll be the one getting the shaft later." I winked and headed to the bathroom to dress and clean up, giving him some alone time to mull over my proposition.

_**EPOV**_

I waited nervously outside the bathroom door, listening to her dress and dying a little inside over the thought of her creamy flesh being wrapped in fabric, instead of being draped with my body.

Fuck! It was so unfair! I was so close to ending my agony but no . . . I had to screw it all up with my stupidity.

_Why do I have to try sex toys all of the time? It's not like I have anybody to try them out with. What does it really get me? Nothing, except carpal tunnels from whacking off so much._

Bella Swan, sex incarnate, stepped out of the bathroom and left a few buttons at the top of her blouse undone to keep me on my toes, apparently.

I could smell her on my upper lip and my poor crankshaft was stirring.

_Down! Stay down! You need to rest and restore your circulation!_

Without a word, I led her out of the confines of my office, which was over-saturated with her intoxicating smell. It must have been thick since my sense of smell was picking up on it.

_Maybe I should turn on a fan to deionize the room and move the air out of here? But then it might attract the other dicks around here, kind of like how a neighborhood cat in heat attracts all of the local Tom's in a mile wide radius._

I chose to lock the door and let the pungent scent sit and simmer in there so I could enjoy it later.

I walked slowly down the hall, keeping my step light so that there was no friction on the base of my penis. I was not about to fuck around with something that could harm the tissues further.

Doctor Swan looked over at me several times. But instead of a look of concern, I was met with a toasty, warm glowing look that said 'More!' and it made me choke on my words.

The further we got into the plant, the more she pushed my libido.

Her tongue was doing very deviant, overtly sexual things to the sucker I had given her.

Sucrose never looked so enticing along with Food Red seventeen dye. It coated her buccal cavity in a seductive way that made me suck on my own tongue unsatisfactorily and dwell on what it felt like to have her tongue cupping my slightly bent shaft.

Damn! She was really pushing my oral fixations as far as they would go. Her little red tongue darting in and out and wetting her lips was making my shaft a little tender from rubbing against my pants. Was she trying to kill me? She knew that I was in penile recovery mode; what I had experienced with that restrictive ring was tantamount to having a hematoma in my vas deferens. _Not good and life flashing before my eyes kind of enlightening experience!_

It definitely made me more determined to end my state of virginity. I didn't want to lose my dick before it even had its maiden voyage.

"You have a very nice vestibule," I complimented her, hoping to impress her with my anatomically correct verbiage.

Instead, I was greeted by a smirk and more tonguing on her hardened, corn syrup sticky concoction. God, I'd never wanted to be wrapped around a paper stick so badly so I could feel her rugae bump along my flesh again. I wanted to be her lolly. The idea of feeling the corrugation of her palate adding friction and heat to any part of me had me in a tizzy.

_Later, Edward. Maybe tonight! Ice those balls and then maybe ask her to play 'doctor' again for you. You'll get her naked and get to . . . fuck!_

Her sucking sounds had me edgy and verbally incontinent.

I sucked in a lungful of stale air and acted oblivious to her feral beauty and fuck-hot tongue.

" . . . Yeah, um, this is where we have our team meetings. And then that's the break room over there."

These rooms were bland; no imagination at all but Bella didn't seem to notice or mind. Her eyes were on me . . . making me feel . . . God, I can't ever wear cock jewelry around her or a cock ring or I'll die!

"Don't eat in there," I warned, since she clearly enjoyed nibbling on candy in a salivatory fashion. I could only imagine how messy she'd be with soup. "Nobody cleans it appropriately. They use toxic, harsh cleansers and your skin looks very porous and delicate."

_When can__ I feel it again? Lick it? Suck it? I need more . . . flawless, porcelain estrogen laden skin! _

"I'll keep that in mind. Do you have any suggestions as to where a good place to eat off of would be?" Her chestnut eyes widened fractionally, making them look innocent as fuck. But her tongue told a different story; it licked around the center before slipping it back between her red lips. I watched her teeth graze the outer shell of it and felt like a chicken bone had wedged in my throat. It felt raspy and dry; hard to breathe.

"Ummm . . ." I was caught up again; mesmerized by her mouth. _Can she tie cherry stems too with her tongue? I bet she could braid two together no problem . . . mmm._ "Me . . . I mean . . . m-my desk. That's where I eat. It's the safest, cleanest place. You're welcome to join me if you want. I'll have to clean it though after what we just . . . uh did. You know . . . even though you're very clean and . . . fuck!" I watched her with rapt attention as her fingertip grazed her sticky lower lip and she looked at me with heavy hooded lids. "Sterrrrrile, germ free," I said in a hazy, thick foggy feeling. My head was swimming in pheromones.

She continued being the sexy little vixen that she naturally was—hollowing out her cheeks around that sucker before pulling it from her lips with a pop.

"Clean enough to eat off of?" Her voice softly purred.

"Mmhmm, Jeeesus!" I was a panting, sweaty mess, incapable of making sense. "I am . . . it is." I couldn't take much more so I chanced touching her. I put my hand on her arm, grabbing behind the elbow—an innocent enough area to contact—and then I led her forward. "My baby's this way. I have to show it to you. I think you'll really like it. I was the key designer." My chest puffed ever so slightly over my pride and joy.

She sighed out in contentment, eyes slightly glazed. Was she as turned on by machinery as I was? Praise Jesus, this woman was perfect!

"It took me months to get the combustion just right. It's the viscosity of the fluid that I've been having trouble with. That's why I've resorted to using different lubrications. It's overheating. This is why I need you." I choked on the stifling air around me as I realized that I was absentmindedly throwing out innuendos and flirting.

_Edward Cullen flirting?_ That was about as probable as a naturally perpetual motioned pendulum. Yet, it was happening and I felt . . . good doing it.

Odd. She didn't seem turned off by it. Quite the opposite.

I got a rush of adrenaline as I considered the fact that my verbal diarrhea that normally sent women running for the hills seemed to keep her amused. Maybe even aroused?

I held my breath as we stepped into the chamber where the engine was kept.

Her eyes scrutinized it but her expression was blank so I hadn't a clue what she was thinking and I was dying to know.

"So . . . ?" I bravely asked for her feedback.

"Hmm," she hummed, seriously thinking and taking it all in. "I think this is something that we can handle. I have some ideas and different things we can test out."

I smirked like a smug son-of-a-bitch. I was starting to really like working with her. Normally I refused to have a partner. I didn't mind being on a team as long as I was in charge, but this was . . . yeah, gonna be life altering. I could feel it!

"Can I show you how I've been h-handling her?" I stammered but then felt very brave all of a sudden. I pulled out the two condoms I had stowed in my pockets for the test run today. It was the best way to cover the valves and keep them dry.

She blinked down at my prophylactic devices in amazement.

"I think we'll need some of that gun oil if we're going to go two rounds."

_Fuck yeah we will!_ My eyes rolled back in my head and my dick rushed at the sound of her words.

I growled and suddenly launched myself at her; shoving her up against the wall and kissed her fiercely while simultaneously groping her ass hard. The condoms fell on the floor, but not forgotten.

Her slender arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me closer. I could feel her breath push into my mouth and I heaved a heavy sigh of satisfaction. Her breasts were mashed up against my chest and I had never felt so right. Petite hands were weaving into my hair as she lifted one leg and wrapped it around my waist, pulling me closer. Her heel dug into my ass and I groaned at the feel of the pressure. My cock felt like it was miraculously healed and no longer scarred by that experience in my office. Those stockings and garter belt were just out of reach . . . but not for long!

_Now or never!_ I chanted this mentally over and over again.

My fingers deftly unfastened my fly and I came undone as she hitched her skirt up slightly. I had my dick in hand, ready to free it when I heard . . .

"Dude, what the fuck?"

My forehead sunk forward, heavy with the weight of my poisonous virginity. It rested against Bella's as I tucked myself back away.

I huffed out lightly and re-zipped.

"Emmett, we uh . . . have you met Bella?" I asked and felt Bella slip from my grasp.

**THE END**

**-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-**


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